Need Your Input! Book Synopsis

So, I just sat down and cranked out a book blurb/synopsis for my novel in about 10 minutes. I’ve never written one before, so I’m interested in seeing how people feel about it. Please take a look, let me know what you think. Would this book interest you (if you read the genre)?

Raised in isolation, Khet is forced to masquerade as blind in an attempt to keep a secret that could very well mean certain death for her entire family. Born the half-blood bastard daughter of an ancient god, her very existence is an affront to everything her people believe. But when Leander, an immortal Felnatherin lord discovers her, instead of ordering her execution, he saves her life. For reasons unknown, Khet is the spitting image of his murdered sibling. Together they will defy laws and push the boundaries of long-held beliefs in an attempt to discover the truth. A tale of secrets, betrayal and family, Daughter of Abraham is an epic Dystopian Fantasy Romance where beauty meets beast, and together, they overthrow an empire.

EDIT: Version 2

Sequestered away in a remote village, 16-year-old Khet harbors a secret that could very well get her family killed. Born the half-blood bastard daughter of an ancient god, her very existence is an affront to everything her people believe in. But when Leander, an immortal Felnatherin lord discovers her, instead of ordering her execution, he betrays his sworn oath to the crown and saves her life. Amidst a web of old prejudices, deceit and murder, the two unlikely companions forge a tenuous bond that a centuries old war will threaten to tear apart. Daughter of Abraham is an epic Dystopian Fantasy Romance where beauty meets beast, and together, attempt to overthrow an empire.

Thank you for your input!

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21 thoughts on “Need Your Input! Book Synopsis

  1. Pingback: Weekend Wrap-Up #14 | Author Unpublished

  2. The plot sounds really interesting and you had me wanting to read it with the words ‘daughter of an ancient god.’ Wording wise for the synopsis I think it needs to be altered a litter, I find ‘to masquerade “as blind” in an attempt to…” very disorientating. I assume that perhaps the word as was supposed to be something else or that part of the sentence is missing.
    Either way though I would most enjoy reading whichever draft you choose to let people read! I have helped people with editing their work before in school so I would be more than happy to help you there as well 🙂

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  3. I have to agree with the first comment that some of the lines sound a little too much like other stuff I’ve read. Also, the first line doesn’t grip me as much as I feel it should. There’s no opening hook that pulls me in and I’ve been told that the first line of a blurb is really important. Maybe try to take that first line and shorten it with a bigger pop?

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  4. It definitely sounds interesting and I would totally pick it up. The only problems I have with it is that some of your phrasing sounds a little cliche, like “Together they will defy laws . . .” which there’s nothing wrong with putting it like that, it’s just been a bit overused in recent novel synopses. And also Felnatherin sounds super cool, but I have no idea what that could be, so some kind of subtle indication at least would be nice. And I’m assuming this is addressed in the book, but how was Khet raised in isolation if she has a family? And how does pretending to be blind really eliminate all suspicion towards her?

    Just some thoughts. On the whole it makes the book sound very interesting.

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  5. Your story has many interesting elements intertwined into a rich gothic tale. Not only would I read this but I think my young tween would like it too. Im intrigued about Khet’s origins and Leanders true intentions. I hope you decide to publish soon. Keep us posted.

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